All I’ve ever wanted to be is mama. I guess that’s not completely true, there are plenty of things I’ve wanted to be. But a mama? That’s been on the top of my list. But I never knew until I experienced motherhood how hard it can be. There isn’t always instant gratification, no pats on the back and often no time for myself. In return I receive dirty diapers, accompanied trips to the bathroom and spilled sippy cups. And sleep, might as well just think about that when they are much older or maybe in college. Not to forget about nurturing my marriage. It can all be overwhelming. There’s often times where I feel like I just can’t get a grasp of it all. I feel alone in my feelings.
Sometimes I lose sight of what I believe to be my purpose. How much I wanted this. I yearned to experience motherhood, shape lives and make a difference for my own family. It might be hard, but it is an unbelievable privilege. An honor I won’t minimize. God has blessed such wonderful gifts, a heart made for this journey. He has placed in my life husband whom I respect, love and thankful to have the father of my children. It is a blessing to have these lives in my care. There are countless women before me that have experienced motherhood just like there will be after I am gone, but no one will take my place in my son’s lives or experience it quite like I do. I pray that God will guide me, strengthen me and in return grace will live out through my boys.