Children are like fingerprints, no two are the same.
Ever since becoming a mother I’ve gotten comments or questions about what stage the boys are in (Just like any mother has I am sure). For example is he crawling, walking, sleeping through the night talking yet? While these aren’t always asked in a negative way, sometimes they are when my response doesn’t line up with their standards. One conversation triggered my thoughts for this post was most recently, I was at the park and started to chat with another mother. A few minutes into our conversation she asks if my son is potty trained yet. I replied with no shame and said we haven’t started and explained that I’m not positive he’s ready ant that I don’t want to push him. Her reaction showed suprise and somewhat disappointment and replies with “Well that’s a lot of diapers with the third on the way, he’s at the right age, you might want to get on that.” I kind of just laughed it off and thought well she doesn’t know him that well. As we made our way back home I started to dwell on her comments. Am I not reading him correctly? As his mother am I holding him back, not thinking he’s capable when he really is? After a nights sleep I woke up and realized those negative thoughts were from someone comparing my child to her and planting thoughts of doubt by sharing what she thinks is correct by her standards or how her child has progressed. And my insecurities own insecurities made me concerned maybe she was right.
I will admit I even compare my two boys at times, mainly just trying to remember what milestone might come next or just recall when my oldest was at the same age. But I try come back and remember they are their own person. They were created differently, in infancy needed me to soothe them in complete opposite ways, and both have met each “stage of development” at their own pace. From the time my oldest was a baby I knew my intention was never to push him or my future children to do something they weren’t ready for or above their stage. I believe my job as a parent is to nurture, encourage and provide a environment that is stimulating. Children were created to learn and grow up.
There have been more comments about pushing our boys to a certain stage because we have a newborn on the way but those really don’t deserve anymore attention. Because I find it ignorant and so unfair to place pressure on my boys just because we’ve decided to give them another sibling.