During the boys’ naps I was scrolling facebook and came across a post that someone shared, a site that read “what’s your personal quote.” I normally would have just passed right by because frankly, they are usually just so generic and a waste of time (in my opinion.)
But for some reason in my zoned out, I really should be napping myself state, I decided to take the steps to see what quote I would receive. In a matter of seconds “There is no shame in going slowly but turning around is” popped up. Those words struck me. Because it has been a conversation, or battle you could say, that I have been having within myself lately when thinking of doing this all alone while my husband is deployed.
I look around and have this perception that those around me have it more together. They’ve mastered being a stay-at-home mom, working and/or student mother. They must have it all figured out or they are getting more out of life than I am.
As long as I could remember I always wanted to be a mother. And now after over three years of experiencing the joys, exciting and wonderful milestones, loneliness and craziness it often holds; I sometimes think to myself- what about me? Have I lost myself? Am I growing as a person at all. Am I doing enough?
And the reality is, right now yes. Could I be doing it better? Yes, there is always room to grow. But I wouldn’t change being a stay-at-home mom for the world. I absolutely love being the mother to my boys. Is it hard? Yes. Do I get a shower every day? No. Do I miss the travels, time with friends, new experiences and other things I enjoy? Often, yes. But what I think is most important right now is to be home with my boys. To be there every moment with them that I can is what I truly want.
It might be hard to find balance and I can do better about making time for myself more often. I’m not looking backwards, just taking a slow and steady pace. Deep down I know this is best for me and my family.
Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
Being a wife and mother has made me a better person. I have no business in comparing myself to those that do life different than me. I will have time later in life to do more of what I want and grow in ways outside of being a mother. For now I want to put my whole self into this season of my life and be grateful because God has blessed me beyond measure. I couldn’t be more thankful.
And I won’t be alone, we have such a wonderful support system that I am so fortunate to have close. With my friends, family and Him I won’t be doing any of this alone.