This smart, brown-eyed, curly-haired, simply bursting with personality young boy and I have been butting heads a bit lately. Ok, I admit it, we have been living in tantrum city.
I have heard of the tremendous threes. So after his third birthday I prepared myself for some strong will to shine through that bright smile of his. Here we are eight months later and it’s like it happened over night.
My precious little boy has been screaming, making demands and insisting he knows better than me, his mama.
In the past when my boys have hit certain milestones and new developments, especially the challenging ones my strategy has been to meet them where they are. To find new avenues on how to communicate with them. To not break them but to guide them.
If I were honest there were many instances over the last several weeks where I was at a loss. Almost frozen because I could easily choose to lose my emotions and even myself in all of this but my emotions matter. I knew if I reacted poorly to his behavior than the consequences would not just be me putting up with a “ornery” child even longer but hurting my sweet son who is going through a sense of initiative, who needs guidance not punishment.
I racked my brain over it for a solid week because what I was trying wasn’t making a difference. His actions had made me question if I am doing things right? How can I reach him better? Is there something I am doing or allowing that is triggering this behavior?
Thankfully I have my mom and sister in-law to reach out to. Both of them assured me that this is all normal. They gave me suggestions but most importantly reminded me that I set the tone. Consistency is key. This too shall pass.
This is him inserting his fun, loud and amazing personality. He wants to let me know how he feels. What makes him happy, sad and mad. But to the fullest. This has to happen in order for him to turn into a courageous I pray he turns into.
I don’t want to be in a power struggle with him every day or every minute for that matter. It is my responsibility to stay firm but calm when talking with him.
To give him structure with some flexibility when needed. To make my requests or instructions simple, clear and reasonable for his age and also current circumstance.
To allow him to feel independent with age appropriate chores; for example, putting his dirty laundry away, helping unload the dishwasher, picking up toys and “cleaning” the dirt off walls and tables with water and a drop or two of lemon essential oil in a spray bottle.
To also give him the alone time he deserves to set him apart from his brothers. So he knows and feels my love, to feel supported by me.
And to hug him, hug him hard because I don’t want to shut down his strong emotions. I want to be the person he confides him. His safe place to unload.
He is one special young boy and I know this a pivotal time. For me as a mom, how do intend to parent? I know not all three of our boys will be the same at each age but he is my first born. He is the one teaching me every day more about what the kind of mother I want to be and making me think even more about how I want to raise all of them in the future. They each make me a better person and have challenged me in different ways. I want to nurture their spirits. I hope and pray to raise strong independent men, who are also respectful and kind hearted.
JP’s incredibly handsome and quality made Dark Blue Denim Button Down is from RuggedButts! RuggedButts and RuffleButts (their girl line) has been featured on ABC’s Shark Tank and seen on Gwen Stefani’s little boy! Click here to check it out. His Moccs are from MommyMakesMoccs, find her other amazing leather pieces on Instagram and Etsy.
My dress if from one of my favorite online boutiques Pink Blush and this is actually my second dress in this same style because I am love it so much. Feminine, comfortable and nursing friendly! You can shop this exact same dress here.